F*** me...
While I was going to finish up my theorem tonight, I have something else that has diverted all my attention from my philosophy to write about. I start college tomorrow. This is going to be the worst two years of my life as far as education go. I did not want to go to college yet. I just don't feel ready for it. My plan was as soon as I got out of high school take a three month vacation, get a job, earn enough money to move out, THEN go to college if I felt I could go. I don't care if it would be harder to got to school and live by myself. I just want to be away from my family. They are all starting to disgust me at this point because of the this college this and driver's licence that and other bullshit they put me through. I want to be left alone, to make my own decisions, to live my life the way I want to. College itself is going to be hazardous to my blood pressure and already finite attention span. And that's just from work and studies. Getting there is going to be a whole 'nother issue. For the first couple weeks or so, my dad and his girlfriend said that he would take me, but I sincerely don't trust his or her "on-time" capabilities. So, I'm going to have to get a driver's licence so I can take one of my grandparents vehicles eventually. BUT, if I do that, then I'm going to have to be put on their insurance which will AT LEAST double the fees. So THAT means that I'll have to get a job so that I don't suck all their money out of the bank. And THAT means that I'm going to have a harder time studying. Sure, I was going to have to deal with this when I live on my own, I just didn't want anyone else involved/have to suffer from what I do. The thing that's pissing me off the most is that all of this happened in one fell swoop.

I don't know what to do now. I'm still thinking about that expulsion thing, I'm just not sure what I'm going to do so that I don't get fined, thrown in prison, or both. There's always just flunking the Hell out of it, but then again, I think that is put on my permanent record and then I won't be able to get into any college. (The grant agency would love that...) And another thing, I'm not sure this is the degree I want. Then I would have wasted my time as well as everyone else's. My future is screwed either way. If there has been any conclusion I have made from this, it's that I suck at life. Someone help me...