Just a small taste of freedom.
Honestly, I didn't think I would do it but I did. I thought I faced the truth last year but I beat the odds. And just to think my luck wouldn't change, I was blessed. I completed high school. I F***ING GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL!!! I thought that I would never get out of that Hell-hole soon enough, but now I'm free. I really was on the line of passing a few of my classes. POD was definitely a failing grade, but the generous teacher allowed me to do some work so that I would be able to make the bare minimum to pass that class. The only thing I regret is not being able to thank him for what he did. I would go up and thank him as soon as the next school year starts, but I never, EVER want to go back to that damned school ever again... for ANY reason. I'm just so glad that I'm no longer being forced to go to school anymore. I am now truly free. Although, now I have to face the responsibilities as an adult like get a job, learn to drive (Which is something I should've done already...), pay for my own games, and other stuff. My dad and grandparents said that school was the easy part, now I have to play life on hard difficulty. (Made that line up myself, and I'm so fsking quoting it.) I know I'm going to be facing more crap down the road of life, and from my point of view, I'm probably going to get p0wn3d. I'm gonna go and try to get a job at least two weeks from now so that I don't become a friggin' moocher. But for now, I'm just gonna take it easy and enjoy my short vacation. I would end this entry right here, but I've got some other stuff to get off of me as always. The graduation ceremony isn't worth mentioning, so bweh.

The big prom night... It was fun to say the least. I downed a thing of Full Throttle (Some energy drink.) so that I could run on caffeine for the first part of the prom because we were going to be partying 'till seven in the morning. The tuxedo felt awful to wear and it looked even worse on me. My hair looked good, slicked back and shiny. Just how I like it. I sweated in that thing more in 30 minutes by just standing than... when I did my presentation. Deja vu, anyone? Laura... When I saw her the only thing that came to my mind was "Wow". 'Nuff said. When we got there, we had to go and wait in the gymnasium for the Grand March, which is when everyone is announced as they go across the stage of the auditorium. An average time of 20 seconds per couple. I saw Candra there... she was there with someone I don't know, but I didn't let my big fear get the best of me. Before when everyone was supposed to be called down to the thing, everyone had to go take a picture. We were late because we were waiting to be called in line for the damn march. We got the picture taken and ordered (Which was pretty expensive.) and went back in line. Almost two hours passed before me and Laura were up next while I was trying to calm down my murderous rage of boredom. The lady who announced us pronounced my last name wrong, even after I corrected her when she asked. I wasn't upset. Just about everyone can't get it right for some reason. To my amazement, I wasn't nervous at all when I walked on stage. Hell, I even knew very well the stupid thing was getting broadcasted on our local TV channel. It might have been the fact that I knew my grandparents were in the audience, or it could've been the fact that Laura was by my side... Anyway, after the march, everyone went to the cafeteria for appetizers and such before dinner. The cookies were pillaged and the vegetables were already mutating, so the only thing that "looked" good was the meat and cheeses. Dinner was served and it looked fairly good. I got some chicken dumpling thing along with some potato stuff and rigatoni. Wasn't bad for something that tried to play as a fancy meal. When plates and stuff were being picked up, one of the waiters dropped a couple dishes which was followed by applause. I hate the people of this county... A while bit longer and the dance started. I didn't feel like dancing because I've convinced myself that I can't dance and feel good at the same time at that moment. So me and Laura sat at the table we ate at for a little bit. She started to get bored and I felt guilty. I practically dragged her out to the gym to dance. It was actually fun. I haven't danced in years and it felt good to just get down with my funky self. (Worst. Line. Ever.) We slowed danced twice, I think. I was hesitant but she was comfortable for some reason. I think the dance lasted for about 3 hours. We quit a little bit over 2. I got rid of the jacket and vest of the tux cause it was ridiculously sweaty. I called my grandparents with the cell-phone my pap let me borrow so that he could get our regular clothes. Old but very cheap and useful. We changed clothing and waited for the busses to take us to Dave and Busters. Which was the biggest part of the night for me. Right before we headed out to the busses, we were handed a CD of the music at the dance. There were only a few songs that I'd actually listen on it. We rode on the bus for about an hour and 15 minutes until we finally arrived. Caught a couple naps on the way up because I can't sleep sitting up. Go figure. We waited for about half an hour so that we could get our cards in which we used to pay for the games. As soon as we entered the building a practically ran to look for the arcade. Even faster as I wanted to play Dance Dance Revolution. I didn't find it, but instead a knock-off called "Pump It Up" or something. It had five steps instead of the four I'm used to. It wasn't bad, actually... I HAD THE BEST TIME ON THAT THING!! I am so fsking getting DDR for the PS2. It is definitely a work out thing. I could probably lose 10 pounds a week on that thing. I also played skee-ball and air hockey with Laura. I don't think she had as much fun as I did, but she didn't seemed too bummed out. She's not into the video game scene as I am so it was understandable that she wasn't having a good time with me. If there was any consolation, it was that I made myself look like an idiot on one of the tougher songs on that thing (I'm a fat, fat boy...) and she recorded it on her digital camera. Not one of my best moments caught on video... It was almost time to leave and everyone was cashing in their tickets from the games that gave tickets at the prize booth. All the good stuff was over 50,000 tickets which was completely not worth getting. All we could get was one fairly sized cup which I let Laura keep. Not like there was anything I wanted there anyways. After getting the cup, we tried to get a round of pool table going but everyone was called to board the busses a few minutes into it. The trip going back was OK, slept a little bit. I called my pap to pick us up at the school. It was cold out, but it didn't bother me. Laura literally froze her butt off. She squatted on the cement bench where we waited at. We were picked up, dropped Laura off, arrived back to my home, and the first thing I did was fall on my couch and just sleep. Anything after that I've already forgotten. I remember her calling me but it ends there for that day. I had a great time and I think she did, too.

It did affect my feelings for her, though not too much. I was happy that we spent such a great time together, but that just sums it up. I'm just so confused right now. I'm stuck between Candra and Laura and neither have any clue about it. I like Candra because she's nice, friendly, gets along great with a lot of people, and is definitely the party type, but she doesn't seem interested in me and already dated a few people. Laura is a great friend, but recently I've been doing things that couples would do together with her and that's probably the reason why I have these feelings. I don't think me and Candra will be together, and if I go after Laura I may end up hurting her. I am proverbially "FUCT" with my own emotions right now. I don't want to hurt anyone, but my heart is so confused that it may just shut down for good this time...