Is there hope now?
Firstly, I'd just want to share something that has truly touched me today. A simple Flash movie that practically made me see myself in it. http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/305003 (Here's hoping the link works...) The boy in it nearly looks like me, just thinner. He plays a record on a record player. (The original turntable, yo.) The song in the heading of this post plays from it and he looks out the window, soon falling asleep. He then wakes up suddenly an jumps out the window and runs toward a field, a plain grass field. After stopping to lie on the ground a bit, he runs off again and jumps off a cliff with his hand reaching out. An angel girl grabs him and she carries him through the clouds. They fly a bit and sit on a cloud looking around the peaceful sky. He looks to her, she smiles at him, they lean toward each other... then the boy wakes up from sleeping on the window sill. Realizing that he was dreaming, he gives a sad look on his face and looks out the window again as an angel feather falls slowly on the record player. The point of this? It just relates to me so much. It's not just the boy who looks like me, but what happens to him and the music going along with it. Jumping out the window and running through the field: I want to escape from the "house" I'm in. The "house" represents what holds me back from enjoying life and I just want to escape from it. (Not in the mood to explain in full what the "house" is.) Running through the field represents me starting to enjoy freedom. Lying on the grass just the same, but I get bored with simple freedom. Jumping off the cliff and reaching his hand out: Jumping off the cliff represents that I would take a chance and reach for my desires, or one desire in this case. The angel girl: Self-explanatory to those who have read my previous post. Candra is my angel girl. She would carry me away from the simple life and into complete happiness, heaven, or the just the clouds depending on your point of view on the movie. They sit on a cloud looking around: That would be me and Candra enjoying life in peace. Leaning toward each other: My fantasy... To express my love to her in a passionate way. Then the boy waking up: Me realizing that all I'm doing is just hoping for a fantasy to come true. The feather: The proof of my chances of my fantasy coming true, no matter how small the hint. The repeating part of the song's lyrics:
...Cause this angel has flown away from me.
Leaving me in drunken misery.
I should have clipped her wings and made her mine for all eternity.
How this angel has flown away from me.
Thought I had the strength to set her free.
Did what I did because I love her so.
Will she ever find her way back home to me?

The angel flying away: The times that shown to me that I could not be with Candra. Just recently, about a few weeks ago, Corey told me that Candra was already seeing someone. At that time I didn't want to think about it, but a few days later in school, when it was dismissed, I saw her kiss someone. I just kept walking by, as if I saw nothing and nothing saw me. I put on my fake smile when I got on the bus so that I wouldn't show how hurt I was to Candra. I don't care who she is seeing, and I said before that I'm not a jealous person. Clipping her wings: Taking extreme action to get what I desire, something that I would never do. Never would I clip the wings of an angel... I would set her free because I love her: Seeing Candra happy makes me happy. She has her own right to choose who she wants to be with. If being with that other person makes her happy, then so be it. I would've been hurt a lot more if it weren't for the fact that I knew she had already dated other people before. Will she ever find her way back to me: I question this every day. This is just something I wanted to share...

Now with that aside, let's get back to what happened in my life. I recently took the SATs. I thought it was something of college level, but it was pretty easy. At least most of the math part was... It could've gone better if I didn't have a friggen headache during the FIVE F***ING HOURS of taking the test. Taking it a quarter till eight wasn't a great idea either. Overall I think I did pretty good. I do need expand my above average vocabulary still. Shouldn't be too hard, eh? Next on the list... I'm getting some driving skill built up. Though, driving around the school parking lot doesn't seem all that experience worthy. Either way, I should be trying to get some driving time in for practice purposes. School grades... I'm doing better than I expected. I DO actually have a chance to pass after all. Just gotta quit being lazy for two more months and I'm free. Hmm, not much news... Oh, wait... KINGDOM HEARTS 2 HAS BEEN RELEASED IN THE USA!!! I need to get that game in THE worst way... That game has inspired me so much. Hell, the name of my blog should be a huge hint of that! But before I play/get the game, I should complete the GBA game first. Mainly just to get some upcoming plot holes filled up in the main sequel. Well, I'm done for yet another month. Peace be with those who need it the most...