My future?
Hmm... Huh? Oh damn. And to think that I wanted to do this journal thing more often. Guess I can only churn out one a month on average. Oh well. Can't be helped. Let's see, what do we got here? No new news. Well isn't that great. Ah, fuck it. I'll just ramble on about stuff for this intro. I've been depraved of Dr. Pepper for almost two months now. I think my metabolism is slowing back down to its original state. Not good considering my poor eating habits. I need to get the stuff I eat out of my system fast. Drinking more than one glass of water a day could help... *Gets a glass of water.* Well THAT was my first glass, seven more to go. *Groan.* I need to start going back to Furcadia. Not just because I'm bored, but because I'm part of a comunity that I have hardly taken part in. It was boring doing the job I signed up for, but Hell, I should at least visit the damn dream and actually DO something instead of wandering around aimlessly and shying away from people. I think I need to try that meditation thing where I can increase a specific chakra, which I assume portrays your very personality to some extent. I believe it was the Voice I need work on. I don't know or remember. I should look it up again or something... Ok, enough rambling. It is now time for the main topic at hand.

Fuck school. Fuck it in all its demented filth. And by filth, I mean the people there. I need to move out of this damned county, or at least the city. Moving out would be a good thing for me. But as anyone should know, you need to actually PLAN for stuff like this. Not only do you need money, you need to know where the fuck you're going, how you're going to get there, what jobs you can get, get cable/telephone/Internet connections for your new home, sign a crap load of papers regarding leagal issues for rent and shit like that, and of course, HAVE A LOT OF MONEY. $1000 isn't going to cut it peoples. Even for appartments. I don't even HAVE $1000. Especially due to that fact that I don't have a job and I'm fucking up in school. So where does this all lead to? What the Hell am I going to do with my life? I can't live with my family forever, possibly only earning minimum wage. It's not that I feel that I would be mooching off them, and I do feel that a lot, but I just don't want to be around my family any more. I'm just sick off them. Either I'm completely different from them, I don't know them, or I hate them. And I hate only a handful of them. Namely my brothers but that's too obvious for anyone with sibling(s). I can't possibly think of any situation that leaves me happy, or at least have a living, in my future. I pretty much a good example of the "starving artist," just not now. What job am I going to have? Most likely I'll only have a job and not a career. Right now I should just be working fast food places, but that sucks in the worst way. During my middle-age years, when I'm bald and wearing glasses, I suppose I could just work in a cubicle. I don't know what the Hell people do in those things, but it can't be worse than asking someone for their order. Am I ever going to get married? Answer: Highly doubtful. Although I'm sporting an interest in Candra, I don't know how long she'll stay in this city. So, I only have three more months of school left and I'm not sure how long I have before she goes to college. I don't even know if we'll even be together. (I'm going to stop here in order to prevent yet another rant about my love.) Will I ever have children? FUCK NO!! Plain and simple. And how am I gonna die? A few possibilities include heart attack, starvation, disease, and heart attack. (I hate my genetic code...) I suppose old age is an option, but I hear getting old sucks. I know no one is supposed to "know the future," but a lot of people have a good idea with what to do with themselves. Me? I don't have anything. That is, if you exclude the fact that I am absolutely not having children. I guess I just worry too damn much.