Renewed faith?
Let's see... As I'm writing this I can only remember one thing that happened since my last entry, but that would be the main topic of this entry and I like having some extra stuff in. Oh, I got it. I finally got my f***ing driver's permit. Why the swearing? I'll tell you why. Just about one year ago I had a good opportunity to get my permit, but because of legal issues (Not having a legal guardian sign for some thingy.) I was not able to even take the test. Waited for almost 4 hours only to be rejected. The DMV needs to offer TV or maybe some snacks while you wait or something... Anyways, I got the blasted thing and legally drove within 3 hours of obtaining it because my dad thought it was good idea. At first I thought, "Aw crap, I just GOT this today. Why should I risk losing it?" Learning the buttons and switches for the car was easy enough, driving the f***er was a whole 'nother story. I have no wheel turning skill what-so ever, I have to think about how to turn on the turn signal for about 8 seconds, I'm constantly ready to freak out, and just like every other teenager in America, I always do that thing where if you don't "ease on the brakes" you get thrown back into your seat. Practice I need, yo... Alright, extra news out of the way. Now I can get on the real topic.

Valentine's Day. A day which meant little to me, nearly conjuring resent for it. Last year's V-Day, because of the poem I gave Candra, she was nice enough to have thought of me and give me a card. Ok, it was a kiddy one, but it still means something. When she gave it to me I was both elated and discouraged. Happy because she gave me something, but upset because I gave nothing in return. The next year I decided that I should do a kindness and show Candra that she still meant something to me. I went and got a card for her and I made a poem. I think I'm beginning to see a pattern with these poems... Whatever. I put both in an envelope and the whole kit and caboodle in a safe place. This was two days prior to Single Awareness Day. (Bad, bad joke...) The next day, Monday, rolls by somewhat smoothly, then night hit. I decided to go out and hand deliver the "package" so Candra could get it in the morning, or so I hoped. Then out of the sheer craziness that I possess, I decided to dress up all l33t ninja like. This would be my first ninja mission. I got dressed, got my CD player, got the package, and went out. It took about 20 minutes to get near to the desired destination. At this point, I was thinking about the options I was going to have to face. 1 - If no lights were on, deliver the package normally and leave normally upon delivery. 2 - If lights were on, but no people seen within windows, proceede with absolute caution and leave swiftly upon delivery. 3 - If people were clearly seen anywhere within area of house, either A - Run like f**k. And/Or B - Wait at nearby public park until comfortable waiting time is achieved. And despite that it was the 13th day, fortune had smilled and left me with option 1. Well, I did delivery with out harm, but I was practically being chased by a pick-up truck (gawd awful looking things) when I left. I didn't look to see who the hell it was who I COULD'VE sued, but I didn't care. I just left for home and did as such. First objective complete. (Oh yeah, I'm getting down with my l33t ninja self.)

The next day, I dressed in my alter-ego outfit. Red vest, white T-shirt, and khaki pants. I look shmexy in it... This has no relevance at all for anything. I just wanted to let all who read this get an image on how I look. Anyways, school ended and Candra had yet to make any comment to the package. So I raced to the computer when I got home and logged on AIM. A few minutes of aniticipation, and a bit of complete and utter nevrvousness, she got on and started a conversation. A few posts later and she had yet to make any comment of the package. Then I thought, "Wait a tic, maybe she didn't get it out of the mail box?" I asked her if she checked her house mail lately, she posts "hold on", and about a minute later I get a call. I had no idea who it was but when I simply touched the phone I had an idea of who it was and was proven correct. Candra called me. SHE. CALLED. ME. If my legs weren't so strong from carrying my fat-ass body all day for the past 18 years, I would've dropped to the floor. She thanked me for the card and poem, we talked for a bit... Even though we barely got a whole lot of talking done, (Mainly on my part because of my nervousness which left me with little to say.) I just felt so happy. Hearing her voice was just... I don't know how to describe it, really. Even with my above average vocabulary. It was that great to hear her. I was so happy I just couldn't keep myself from smiling. It was so much that I kept smiling the entire day after. The joy she brings me is something immaculate. Pure, magnificent bliss... Now it seems my faith in Candra has revived in a way. It's good now, but I know I can't just hope to win her heart with just petty cards and poems. I need to confront her and treat her as a normal person. I just need to spend more time with her, as a friend.